The big “O” or orgasm is something we hear described as a magical, utopia, fireworks feeling a person enters into for a brief moment during the peak of a sexual encounter. However, for some who have never been able to reach an orgasm feelings of self doubt and confusion could arise.
A sexual experience is about more than obtaining the big “O.” It is about the intimacy and connection with another person, and in some ways achieving orgasm can be a healthy sexual outlet. Though this is true, not being able to experience an orgasm can still be frustrating and cause conflict within yourself and in relationships. Here are some of the top reasons it could be difficult for women to have an orgasm, also known as anorgasmia, followed by helpful tips for overcoming them:
Anxiety – In some instances anxiety plays a major role in delaying a person’s orgasm. Anxiety can contribute to thinking too much about wanting to have an orgasm, feeling pressured by someone to have an orgasm, or a past event, which stunts a person’s ability to achieve an orgasm.
Tip: Try using meditation and deep breathing during parts of your day. Sensate focus is one of the more popular exercises used around anxiety and sexual activity. Talking to a therapist can also help guide you in reducing feelingsof anxiousness.
Medical – Some types of medications can inhibit the ability to achieve orgasm.
Tip: Ask a general practitioner, pelvic floor specialist and/or sex therapist to find out if your medication(s) is contributing to your anorgasmic problem.
Self Awareness – Sometimes we don’t know what button to push “down there” to turn on the fireworks. Exploring your body can be an important step in knowing what you like and don’t like, what feels good and doesn’t feel good. Also educating yourself on orgasms and women can enhance the chances of having an orgasm. (ex: On average it takes a woman around 30 minutes to achieve an orgasm.)
Tip: Invest in these books: Restoring the Pleasure: Complete Step-by-Step Programs to Help Couples Overcome the Most Common Sexual Barries by Clifford and Joyce Penner and Secrets of Eve: Understanding the Mystery of Female Sexuality by Archibald Hart, Catherine Weber, and Debra Taylor.
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